I’ve been active my entire life in everything from swimming to gymnastics to basketball.
I gave it all up at the ripe age of eight when I found my true love: rugby. I was confident in my decision, and never looked back.
Growing up, rugby was rarely, if ever, focused on in the media. No one knew what it was and I was constantly flooded with questions regarding the sport’s safety, and most disappointingly, the gender barriers others ever-so-gently (ha!) placed on me. I never let naysayers stop me from pursing my love. I went on to play high school rugby, All-Star rugby,and captain a great college rugby team.
Rugby is a relatively safe sport. We are taught from a young age to follow our tackles to the ground, place ourselves “cheek to cheek”, and the importance of the universal athletic starting position. I’ve had a fair share of relatively minor injuries, from a torn LCL, to a sprained ankle, to a mild concussion. I was furious when I once had to sit out of a match because I had a kidney infection and mono at the same exact time. Not too shabby for a thirteen year (at the time) stint, right? Yes, but sitting out a game and not being able to support my family on the pitch tore me apart. Luckily, the minimal injuries were just that, and I was able to jump back in soon enough.
I could escape my worries from school work, and my social life on the pitch. But eventually, reality caught up to me and bad luck hit. The one thing I couldn’t escape? Injury. Exactly two years ago, after a “go, go, go” mindset, I hurt my back and everything changed. I think they call it “the straw that broke the rugger’s back”.
In the sea of torn ACL’s and popped rotator cuffs, my back injury wasn’t out of the ordinary. However, my diagnoses were. I lost track of the amount of sports therapists, chiropractors, and athletic rehab appointments I attended. All I wanted to do was get back on the pitch. I couldn’t run, couldn’t sleep through a night, couldn’t sit still for more than ten minutes. The pain was intolerable. One doctor told me to ice it and I would be fine, another suggested I lay off of rugby for good, while another thought they had just found a degenerative spine disease in me.
To add more insult to injury, no one could give me a proper reason or excuse, rather, for why I was missing out on one of my last college ball seasons. All I wanted was a straight answer for how long I’d be out. I started the process of gradually strengthening my back, and boy was it frustrating. It ended up being a lot longer than I wanted, and nothing stung worse. I cried more than I ever had in my life and lost all motivation.
I remember the moment I realized I couldn’t play in my college playoff games. I had missed too many practices because my back was weak, and there was no way it would have held up so soon after being injured. I couldn’t figure out the answer to the age-old question: “Why me?”I watched my team get beaten in the first round of playoffs, and as the previous captain, I felt useless, helpless, and broken. My injury and inability to be back on the pitch with my sisters tore me up. I tried to focus on school, but yearned to be back on the pitch. After season ended, I was far from motivated, and after gaining weight and losing muscle, I wasn’t sure what the future held for me in terms of rugby.
It took me a long time to realize I couldn’t let my struggle consume me. Yes, I was injured. But how could I overcome it? How could I put myself back on track to where I wanted to be and succeed while doing it? I finally started to see it as competition. Who was my opposition? Myself. The first step to being back was healing properly. Letting yourself heal properly through any injury is the single-most important thing, but it’s also the hardest. We athletes seem to think we’re invincible at times, and that can hurt us. To anyone who’s been injured, follow your doctors’ advice. Don’t try to jump back in the game too soon, because you could risk your whole career for one game. It may not be the shortest wait time, but imagine how much longer it would be if you got hurt again by jumping in too soon.
It took me eight months of rehabilitation and doctor’s appointments to finally get myself back on the field. I scored the first try of the game against USC, and at the last minute, scored the game-winning try. It was my biggest college “comeback”, and a huge personal achievement.
I was able to succeed because I started making goals for myself in terms of rugby, fitness, and health. I’m notorious for the Post-It notes I leave everywhere, and started writing down lists of what I wanted to accomplish by a certain time. I understood the importance of being realistic, and knew that not reaching a goal couldn’t be an excuse for giving up. I kept fighting to cross items off my list, no matter how hard. This allowed me to prepare myself mentally, while sports therapy prepared me physically. I kept my mind open to learn; if I couldn’t be on the pitch, I’d watch professional games to learn the “classroom techniques”, at least. I ended up carrying these habits over to my last year of college, as well as my career. The mental battle is just as hard as the physical, y’know.
It’s been a total of two years that I’ve been constantly rehabbing. I still visit the chiropractor and get referred to physical therapy. It hasn’t been an easy road, and I know my personal battle of two years is nothing in comparison to others; I have too many teammates who are out for nine months, a year, or even indefinitely because of injuries. Everybody’s battle is different, but the underlying similarity we all have is the need and want to get through it on top.
I’m different now than I was when I first got injured two years ago. I’m focusing on bettering myself and learning that I can’t change what happened in the past. I can only change my attitude and how I handle the future. I’m motivated by my past and know that if I work hard, I will, one day, be back to where I want. I’ve never been one of the fittest people on the pitch, so I’ve entered into a gym regime and cleaned up my eating. While I still know how to have fun and enjoy myself, moderation is key. I’m happier, healthier, and personally more successful than I’ve ever been. It’s so easy to get down on yourself and cave in in the face of adversity, whether it be in your personal, work, or athletic life. However, a true warrior will persevere and keep pushing, even when they’ve been beaten up mentally and emotionally.
Whatever your struggle is, fight through it. You are not defined by the obstacles you meet, but rather how you respond to them. Injuries not only provide us with physical trials, but mental. I could have given up and never stepped foot on a rugby pitch again. Things are much harder for me now. Every gym session, every practice, every game, I learn something new and build myself back up.
I’m sitting here, almost ready to leave to practice, where I’ll be coaching an incredible set of high school rugby players. Many of them have been given obstacles, both on the pitch and off. But what I love most about them is their tenacity, their drive, and their will to keep going. Life will hand you “injuries”, and sometimes it’s going to be tough to keep moving. But when you dig deep, believe in yourself, and aim high, you will reach success. Never let a breakup, a loss, or an injury derail you or your goals; you are better than that. To all my readers battling something in their lives; heal quickly, heal safely, and heal smartly. You will get through this.
No motivational quote, no coach’s speech, no single moment will get you back to where you want to be unless you want to believe. Get up, brush yourself off, and go kick ass.There’s a world of opportunity waiting for you.
Natasha holds the honour of being the longest playing female youth rugby player in the USA, an award she received a couple of years back.
